As I lie on my bed with my eyes wide open, I begin to reflect on my failures, accomplishments, and most importantly, the lessons that I have learned. What an amazing year, 2003-2004. So here it goes: my reflection of my sophomore year in Arcadia High School.

One can never achieve greatness until one believes. One has to believe in oneself to be able to succeed. This ability to believe is what carried me to where I am today. I am not smart. No, I am not being modest. But I persevere because I believe—I believe in myself and my goals. Coming into sophomore year, I was scared. Quite frankly, I did not think I could ever be what I am now. Even though I did not take the most challenging courses (like Jason and Clark), I have challenged myself to reach my full potential. Because I am not as intelligent as other beings in Arcadia, I usually take double the amount of time to get the same amount of work done. Yeah, it was hard. However, I did not give up because I believed that I could do it. I believed that I could do great things if I just put my mind into it. Ironically, I did not believe in this until this year. I never think that hard work will eventually pay off.

Most people argue that hard work does not pay off because they got a B when they worked so hard for that A. Well, here are news for you: unless you are God, you will fail. But that failure is for a good cause. I know it is disappointing; however, if you turn that disappointment into motivation, there is always another chance. I did not get straight A’s freshman year, and I was extremely depressed after I saw those two devastating B on my report card (like every other Asian would). I did not give up. Because even if you think the situation is hopeless, still try for it—you never know what could happen (I mean, look at Fisher). I hope all of you poor souls out there learned as much as I did this year. I would have to say it has been a rewarding year. These hardships and failures have only made me realize who I truly am.

A worn-out Hans

Wow, long time no update...I guess I kinda want to revive my xanga. It's about 3 weeks before AP exams, hoping everyone out there are surviving and doing well; keep it up, it's almost over. Then again, summer is not really relaxing anyways...so make the best out of it :) I don't know what advice to give you people out there except to keep your heads up man just let everything go--give it all you got and no regrets. The funny thing is I shouldn't be talking because I'm the one who's always sad or depressed, but hey, nothing's perfect right? I mean, yeah shit happens, but I guess we just have to deal with it some times...can't really expect everything to go your way now can you? Believe me, I know some times life sucks, and you just want to give up and everything, but I really think it happens for the best of you. Remember this: whatever doesn't kill you can only make you stonger. So I am going to go now, hope you guys are doing well out there. Take it easy and peace out.

-Hans

English Group here is the revised script. Enjoy.

Setting: bathroom

Narrator: Roderigo and Iago are in the bathroom, talking.
Rodergio (in stall): Hey Iago, how was last night, you horny bastard?
Iago (at sink, smiling): She was great, but a little too expensive, I feel like I didn’t get my money’s worth. Thanks for loaning me the money though
Roderigo: WHAT?! Did you use all of my money?
Iago: Yeah, but give me a break. I’m depressed. I’d be drinking if I weren’t getting laid
Narrator: Much like most men over the age of 30
Roderigo: Why are you so pissed anyway?
Iago: I just can’t believe that dumb Iraqi promoted Cassio rather than me. For God sakes, he loses to his grandma in arm wrestling; he can’t take a piss in the bathroom without someone holding his hands. I have over 13 years of experience! AND I can hole punch better than him.
Narrator: He doesn’t just mean in the office if you get my drift
Roderigo: That’s too bad *tsk*, but why would he choose Cassio over you?
Iago: Let’s just say, Cassio got promoted because he did a little *jumping around whipping the horse*

Roderigo: Well, if you hate him so much, why don’t you just quit instead of putting yourself through this constant torture?
Iago: Because working here gives me the opportunity to plot my revenge. That Iraqi thinks I’m all loyal to him, but just wait, he’ll feel my wrath…muahahaha
Roderigo: How are you going to do that?
Iago: I have a little dirt on the Iraqi concerning the big boss. Let’s go
Roderigo: Go where?
Iago (sarcastically): Third base. Brabantio’s, you idiot.
Roderigo: Ok. Give me a minute while I finish up in here
Narrator: Roderigo flushes the toilet
Roderigo: Ready!

Move to a new spot

Narrator: Iago and Roderigo are in Brabantio’s office
Iago: Sir! Are you there sir?

Roderigo: I hear noises, you must be in there. Let us in sir, we have something very important to tell you!
Brabantio (smoking and drinking) Oh Shoot! (puts out smoke and hides beer) COMING! *opens door* What the hell do you want?
Narrator: Brabantio gets a little testy when his minions distract him from happy hour
Iago: Boss, I have something to tell you
Brabantio: Come in, and better make it quick, I have some unfinished business that I need to deal with.
Iago: Good morning sir. How are you on this fine day?

Brabantio: Cut the crap and tell me what you want to tell me!

Iago: Oh poor boss, you did not know our daughter is getting screwed in the copy room? On the copy machine!

Narrator: *sarcastically* Now isn’t that everyone’s fantasy
Brabantio: You are lying! I checked on my daughter yesterday and she was fine.

Iago: I swear to Allah I’m not lying!

Brabantio: Who is that horn dog that’s screwing my daughter?
Iago: None other than that wonderful Othello
Brabantio: I don’t believe it! She’s in her cubicle hole punching!
Iago: I don’t know what to say. I just know that she’s not the one doing the hole punching

Please listen to the lyrics of the song.

Ok guys, this will probably be the longest entry I'll ever write.

Recap on the best weekend of my life.

5:00 pm I arrived at Mr. Jason chen's house and we watched Honey (don't ask me how he got it) and just chilled. He tried to buy the Honey dvd on ebay but paypal was facked up so he wanted to chuck his computer out the window.

7:00 pm Jason and I arrive at Jena and Stene's house and kind of waited for other people to show up. 

8:40 pm We left the Hsu's house. Jason, me, Justine, and Yi were on the house keeper's car. Oh man, the house keeper can't even drive in a straight line and she got all of us sick. But we still had some interesting conversations in the car, good deal.

10:00 Finally after about 1 hour and 20 mins of torturous driving, we arrived at the beach house. Wow, it was one heck of a beach house. People unloaded and we started to make dinner and watched the hot chick. I didn't feel too well so I only drank chick noodle soup.

11:00 Went to talk to Yi and Charity. We had a such a deep conversation that it made me think about so many things. Yi: I'm sorry about everything, I just hope everything will get better :). Charity: don't worry about it, I'm your friend and always will be, oh yes, please control your urge for prostitution.

Around 12:30 Jason and I went up stairs and played strip poker with Jena and Jessica. LOL, it was pretty hilarious. Jena went down stair and put on three more shirts and Jessica won't take off her socks, good game. Charle is the crazy tech master. He brought his hand built computer with him and played awesome music, thanks Charle. Then in that room, it was Jason, me, Jena, Justine, Charle, Cindy, Gladys, Loretta and we just took pictures and chilled. Then Jason and I went to the backyard and just talked. Oh man, it was so freaking awesome Jason. Remember our promise and goals bro.

3:00 am Jena, Jason, Loretta, Gladys, Cindy and I went to the beach. Yes, 3 am. I had the best time of my life. Oh man, the beach at 3 am is indescribable. It took us 15 mins to get there and we just kinda chilled walked around,  and talked on the beach. The sound of the wave, the darkness of the night, and the coolness of the breeze is just awesome. We sat on the beach for a while and took pictures. It was just pimped-out.

4:15 We got back to the beach house. Jason and I were so tired and decided to sleep. We went to the master bedroom and slept on the floor. After about 5 mins of sleeping, Emily came. Emily called us pansys for sleeping and said we should stay up to watch the sunrise. We talked and she decided to sleep too. Then 5 mins later, Charity came in and wanted to sleep also. We slept. About 10 mins later, Jena and Cindy came in. Jena, being a little faggot, lol, also called us pansys for sleeping. But before you know it, she was asleep on the couch. So we all slept. Then Emily's *cough* woke me up and I went to another room to find some peace and quiet. About 10 mins later, Charity and Raymond came and decided to sleep in this room with me. So I was like forget it, I'm never gonna get any sleep in. Then I woke up Emily, Jeniffer, and Cindy. Emily and Jena, who called Jason and me pansy, were sleeping. I woke them up to watch the sunrise.

5:30 Jena, Justine, Yi, Emily, Loretta, Cindy, Gladys, Jason, Barret, Sean, and I went to the beach to watch the sunrise. Yes, I just went to the beach at 3 and I'm going again. Well, we got there and just sort of slept on the beach, lmao. It was freaking FREEZING! Finally, the sun rose and it was such a beautiful scenery. Emily and I decided to take a walk on the beach. But stupid Emily, who knew I had a cold, made me take off my shoes and said the water was warm -_-. Being the nice guy that I am, I took off my shoes and socks to walk in the water with her. And I learned that never trust what Emily says . It was so cold and my feet were blue afterwards, lol. But it was pretty tight because we got to talk and stuff. Then we went back to the beach house and we were DEAD. I swear. I ate some ceral for breakfast and went to sleep.

9 am Other people went to the beach and Jason and I just stayed at the beach house and sort of rested. Then we went up stairs and just played big 2 with Loretta, Gladys, Cindy, Charity, and Emily. Jason wanted to arm wrestle girls, it was freaking hilarious. And we had some "interesting" conversations. Omfg, Emily was freaking strong. I got her to a point where she is almost down, but I couldn't finish her. It took me like two mins to finish her -_- lol, I'm such a weakling. Oh well, but we had fun just chilling and talking.

11 am Everyone came back from the beach house and we decided to watch Honey lol. And the room was friggin jam packed because it's a small bedroom. But it's a good movie, except that Jason was saying every line of the movie cause he got the movie memorized.

12:30 Pizza arrived. This is the first decent meal I had during this trip. Mm, it was so freaking good. And after lunch, I didn't feel sick anymore.

2:00 Jason and I just sort of talked and listen to the girls. They were reminiscing about 6th 7th and 8th grade. I was the only foothill person in that crowd, lmao. I didn't know what they were talking about so I just sort of sat there and listened.

3:00 pm The girls decided they wanted to shop, and since Jason and I had nothing better to do, we tagged along . We got the shopping mall and the girls started to shop while Jason and I just kind of watched them, lol. We picked out cloth for Justine and she showed us the difference between a thong and a g-string LMAO! Anyways, Jason and I went to the nearest coffee shop and got some mocha frap. When we came back, Justine was like "Omg, I want some." But Justine insist that she'll pay for the drink but we won't let her. So she dropped the money on the ground, and we just pretended that it wasn't there. Then we're like "Justine is seriously not gonna pick up the money" we went back and picked up the money. As soon as we picked the money up Justine ran out the door and shouted "LOSER!" lol, it was so funny. So we went back to the store and threw the money back to Justine lol. Then the others girls wanted the mocha frap also and we ended up getting three more for them. But it was all good.

5:00 pm We came back to the beach house and just packed and talked once again because everyone else were at the beach. I got to watch the sunset because Justine yelled "OMG GUYS THE SUN IS SETTING" lol. And dude, the sunset was like 10 seconds max, I swear. It was pretty crazy. First time in my life I saw sunrise and sunset on the same day at the beach. All I have to say is: awesome. We then took group pictures for 9 difference camera -_-. Then when we were about to leave, I can't find my luggage and wasted like 10 mins trying to find my bag. I'm so sorry Jena and Justine . But we went on Justine's mom's car instead of the house keeper's, whew, thank god. Omg, 5 people in the backseats, it was crazy. Justine had to lie on top of all us and Yi had to sit on the ground, sorry Yi! I fell asleep on Jason on the way back, lol.

7:30 pm We arrived at the Hsu's house once again and wished them happy birthday and took pictures. After that Jason and I left and I took Jason home.

Beach at 3 and 6 was crazy. Talking to all those cool people and making new friend. Got closer to Jason. It's a good trip.

Special thanks to:

Justine for doing EVERYTHING and making this trip the most awesome trip in my life

Jeniffer for being an crazy host, playing strip poker (even though you put on three extra layers) and going to the beach with us at 3 in the morning lol.

Jason for being the tightest guy on earth with all our promises and handshakes and everything.

Emily for the walk on the beach even though it got me sicker lol. And the arm wrestle to prove how weak I am -_-.

Loretta for being such a cool person to talk to and going to the beach with us at 3 and 6.

Jessica for being a chinawhore  lmao and the strip poker game when you dont even want to take off your socks.

Yi for that awesome conversation and just making me realize so many things in my life

Charity for you lameness LOL, ur urge for prostitution and that talk we had

And EVERYBODY who made this trip worthwhile, thank you.

Take it easy everyone and have a merry Christmas,

-Hans

I could feel my heart beat

I know it’s not free

That's because my life isn't complete

And I can’t let it stop me

Your every word and your every smile

Gives me the strength to walk an extra mile

My harmony is so out of tune

Like a violin without a string, it can’t play

My dream has been shattered so soon

Like a bird without its wings, it can’t fly

The way you smile at me, the way you stare at me

Even a blind man can see

I know this won’t stop

Until my world clashes down on me

When I get to the top

I’ll slip and fall down on my knee

Your stare, your touch

The love, too much              

This will end one day

The clouds will disappear

That day will be brighter

That night will be forever

That mellow touch, that perfect kiss

My longing for you I will always miss

Take it easy dudes and dudettes

-Hans